19
May
06

The Three Minute Management Course

Lesson One:

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw
the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?" The
eagle answered: "Sure, why not."

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a
sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson One:

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson Two:

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the
top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
"They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and
found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of
the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the
second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly
perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who
shot him out of the tree.

Management Lesson Two:

Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Lesson Three:

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird
froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying
there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay
there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The
dung was actually thawing him out! He laid there all warm and happy, and
soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following
the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung. He
promptly dug him out and ate him.

Management Lesson Three:

(a) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(b) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(c) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

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